Boy Queen by George Lester

Author:George Lester [Lester, George]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Pan Macmillan
Published: 2020-08-05T18:30:00+00:00

EIGHTEEN

‘OK,’ Natalie says as she walks out of her front door the following morning. ‘I feel freaking awful. Please don’t tell me these auditions have ruined you forever because that would be beyond tragic.’ She looks at me, eyes wide, waiting for me to fill in the blanks. I refused to talk about it last night, but now she’s looking at me expectantly and either I tell her now and get it all out, or I hold it all in and feel like shit.

And while the words are on the tip of my tongue to tell her exactly what happened with Connor last night, I swallow each and every one of them. They taste like acid on the way down. The words have been running around my head all night, despite everything that happened with Kaye. Disgusting. Faggot. A constant loop of torment from a boy who is supposed to care about me.

‘My nerves got the better of me, I think,’ I say, blinking back tears, averting my gaze from Natalie. ‘I saw Connor outside and realized what I was doing and got so, so nervous. It’s honestly nothing. Stage fright.’

‘You saw Connor?’

‘He was with his friends,’ I say. ‘But that’s nothing. It was the nerves. I just could have done with a little bit of warning that it was going to happen.’ I add a laugh so she knows I’m OK, so she knows that I’m not annoyed about it, not really.

‘And that’s why you were hugging Seth?’

‘Yeah,’ I say. ‘He was really good, actually. Pep talks and everything.’

Natalie shrugs.

‘What?’

‘Sorry,’ she says. ‘I just don’t trust him with you – that’s all.’

‘Why not?’

‘I don’t know . . . He just seems like bad news, Robin, don’t you think?’ she says. ‘Not showing up for classes, getting into shouting matches with Mrs Finch—’

‘You’re always so flirty with him.’

‘That’s just fun,’ she says. ‘I’m being nice, but being nice doesn’t mean I want him all up in your business.’

‘Well, he was nice to me last night,’ I say.

Natalie sighs. ‘I’m sorry I did it, Robin. It was shitty of me to throw you in at the deep end like that,’ she says. ‘I thought it would be good for you, thought it would get you out of this funk that you’re in right now. I thought I could help and instead I’ve ruined your confidence.’

‘No, no, don’t say that,’ I say. ‘I wouldn’t have done it by myself – you know what I’m like. And, sure, it’s knocked me a bit, but that’s not because of the singing.’

‘Hey, if nothing else, at least you got to talk to Kaye Bye,’ she says. ‘What is she like out of drag? Like, is she any different?’

‘Oh my God, completely,’ I say, the subject change welcome. ‘I mean, once I realized who he was, you could totally see it. And I’ll know more tonight, I guess.’

Natalie screams. ‘I am so excited for you! Look at you! You’re going to be a real drag queen!’

‘I dunno,’ I say.

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